So, we are back to being strangers, again.
We walked right past each other. Our eyes barely met, my heart was pounding furiously, and within seconds you were gone.
What a shame,because I used to think that you're my forever. Not anymore, not anymore.
It took me a long time, but I've finally moved on. And as cliched as it is, I really wish nothing but the best for you.
G'bye m.
Dec 22, 2011
Dec 21, 2011
Dec 19, 2011
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
i really need to start writing more, because i don't want to forget. My thoughts are still in a mess, not that it really matters mmm.
December started off really well, because exams are over and i finally get to see the people that i really care about. then there's OCIP, and SEP approval, and suddenly I'm flooded with so much emotions that i never thought existed.
there's a hint of disappointment because i didn't get into my dream school. then there's fear. I never had any hesitation when i was applying, but there and then, after reading the offer, the realization that i will be gone for a while became so tangible it freaked me out.
after that was panic galore (looking back I've got no idea what I was panicking about really), then on the phone with vanny for more than an hour, and then with b for a while. bestest said he'll visit me, actually that's the same thing the lover said to me a while ago. that was what i needed to hear, even if its a lie, but really, that meant so much to me.
I think some parts of the conversation didn't come across the way i meant it. i didn't mean to doubt you when you said you're gonna visit me, i just (still) couldn't believe that anyone will actually do that. it sounds crazy to me- visiting your friend that will be at the other side of the world, no? i probably never told you this before, but you're the most amazing and solid friend i can ever ask for.
there's still a ton of things and applications for me to settle, and OCIP stuffs that's starting to pile up, but just maybe for the first time i don't really mind all these trouble.
i'm still afraid of distance, and i'm not all that confident about the future, but having people that believe in you certainly make it a little easier.
December started off really well, because exams are over and i finally get to see the people that i really care about. then there's OCIP, and SEP approval, and suddenly I'm flooded with so much emotions that i never thought existed.
there's a hint of disappointment because i didn't get into my dream school. then there's fear. I never had any hesitation when i was applying, but there and then, after reading the offer, the realization that i will be gone for a while became so tangible it freaked me out.
after that was panic galore (looking back I've got no idea what I was panicking about really), then on the phone with vanny for more than an hour, and then with b for a while. bestest said he'll visit me, actually that's the same thing the lover said to me a while ago. that was what i needed to hear, even if its a lie, but really, that meant so much to me.
I think some parts of the conversation didn't come across the way i meant it. i didn't mean to doubt you when you said you're gonna visit me, i just (still) couldn't believe that anyone will actually do that. it sounds crazy to me- visiting your friend that will be at the other side of the world, no? i probably never told you this before, but you're the most amazing and solid friend i can ever ask for.
there's still a ton of things and applications for me to settle, and OCIP stuffs that's starting to pile up, but just maybe for the first time i don't really mind all these trouble.
i'm still afraid of distance, and i'm not all that confident about the future, but having people that believe in you certainly make it a little easier.
Dec 5, 2011
"Do you really promise never to forget me?" she asked in a near whisper.
"I'll never forget you," I said."I could never forget you."
Murakami's Norwegian Wood.
I do realise that I've been quoting way too much Murakami, sorry I can't help it.
Hey love,
The truth is, I cannot imagine a life without you. Sometimes I can't even remember the life before you came into the picture.
I know I'm a terrible lover asking too much from you, and i also know that a normal person will probably be traumatized by me by now. But you're different, and you're worth it.
Before we get into the real thing, before you and I become an us, I think it'll be best if we sort ourselves out first. partly for selfish reason, partly to become a better person for you. Right now I'm in a mess, and I need all the time to figure myself out, to know who I am, what I want in life, what I'm standing for and what I need.
I don't see taking a longer route as a waste of time, neither is it a redundant part of growing up. The way I see it, if it doesn't work out then at the very least we manage to figure out the important things in life and set our priorities straight. If it does work out, it'll be good i promise, and it'll all get better in time.
We need this. I need to see the world a bit, figure out the future, do the things I want to do, stop being too pessimist and start believing. And you, you always know your final destination. Maybe somewhere along the way you got lost or distracted, doing things because 'it can pay the bills.' But knowing you, that's not enough love. This is not some impulsive decision, this is your dream, so when the time's right, go follow your heart and chase those dreams.
Either way, we're both in this together. There's no turning back, and I won't give up just yet. So this is not a goodbye, it's just my way of saying that it's the start of something amazing, and if this is only a glimpse of what a good life is going to be, then I cant wait already for the future.
Yours,
L
"I'll never forget you," I said.
Murakami's Norwegian Wood.
I do realise that I've been quoting way too much Murakami, sorry I can't help it.
Hey love,
The truth is, I cannot imagine a life without you. Sometimes I can't even remember the life before you came into the picture.
I know I'm a terrible lover asking too much from you, and i also know that a normal person will probably be traumatized by me by now. But you're different, and you're worth it.
Before we get into the real thing, before you and I become an us, I think it'll be best if we sort ourselves out first. partly for selfish reason, partly to become a better person for you. Right now I'm in a mess, and I need all the time to figure myself out, to know who I am, what I want in life, what I'm standing for and what I need.
I don't see taking a longer route as a waste of time, neither is it a redundant part of growing up. The way I see it, if it doesn't work out then at the very least we manage to figure out the important things in life and set our priorities straight. If it does work out, it'll be good i promise, and it'll all get better in time.
We need this. I need to see the world a bit, figure out the future, do the things I want to do, stop being too pessimist and start believing. And you, you always know your final destination. Maybe somewhere along the way you got lost or distracted, doing things because 'it can pay the bills.' But knowing you, that's not enough love. This is not some impulsive decision, this is your dream, so when the time's right, go follow your heart and chase those dreams.
Either way, we're both in this together. There's no turning back, and I won't give up just yet. So this is not a goodbye, it's just my way of saying that it's the start of something amazing, and if this is only a glimpse of what a good life is going to be, then I cant wait already for the future.
Yours,
L
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 25, 2011
"if you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there's salvation in life. Even if you can't get together with that person." Murakami's 1Q84
Thinking way too much, devouring murakami and taking every chance to procrastinate studying for my two coming papers. That's what I've been doing.
Thinking way too much, devouring murakami and taking every chance to procrastinate studying for my two coming papers. That's what I've been doing.
Nov 17, 2011
Nov 5, 2011
Nov 3, 2011
Oct 28, 2011
Dear friend,
I think we're good at being friends. Just friends, nothing more.
Quite honestly, I like talking to you because we are on the same wavelength.. It's not everyday that I get to talk to people about the thing that matters the most to me: politics, without them giving me a weird stare. I like it that we can talk about any and every thing,no personal stuff, without a hint of awkwardness.
But recently you're way too strange. And I don't know how to respond to that.
I've learnt my lesson that I need to draws clear boundary and make it crystal clear. Or else that friendship wil be ruined.
So, can we keep things at where it is right now and not change a thing?
Sincerely,
L
I think we're good at being friends. Just friends, nothing more.
Quite honestly, I like talking to you because we are on the same wavelength.. It's not everyday that I get to talk to people about the thing that matters the most to me: politics, without them giving me a weird stare. I like it that we can talk about any and every thing,no personal stuff, without a hint of awkwardness.
But recently you're way too strange. And I don't know how to respond to that.
I've learnt my lesson that I need to draws clear boundary and make it crystal clear. Or else that friendship wil be ruined.
So, can we keep things at where it is right now and not change a thing?
Sincerely,
L
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 19, 2011
The problem with politics is that it's about power, not justice.
If politics can be summed up into one word, it will definitely be power. Not just material capabilities in terms of guns and weapons, but also wealth and ideology (second wave of imperialism)
No one really thinks of politics as about being just, like what Socrates and Plato would have imagined it to be.
We have become so corrupted, the society has become so corrupted
And justice is becoming more and more abstract an idea.
Eventually I still want to think that change is possible, that really people can make this place a better one.
But it's quite disheartening, really.
If politics can be summed up into one word, it will definitely be power. Not just material capabilities in terms of guns and weapons, but also wealth and ideology (second wave of imperialism)
No one really thinks of politics as about being just, like what Socrates and Plato would have imagined it to be.
We have become so corrupted, the society has become so corrupted
And justice is becoming more and more abstract an idea.
Eventually I still want to think that change is possible, that really people can make this place a better one.
But it's quite disheartening, really.
Oct 15, 2011
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 12, 2011
Oct 11, 2011
Oct 10, 2011
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 2, 2011
Hello there,
I know you're reading and that's why I keep on writing.
By now you've read a fair share of my confessions and my conflicts.
It's like a one sided conversation.
I don't know how to compose a love letter, I don't know how to write a love story.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling.
There's always a mental battle between my rational brain and my passionate heart.
Honestly I'm losing you, and the feelings you once made me felt.
But maybe it's just me and my imagination.
Make me fall for you all over again, will you?
L
I know you're reading and that's why I keep on writing.
By now you've read a fair share of my confessions and my conflicts.
It's like a one sided conversation.
I don't know how to compose a love letter, I don't know how to write a love story.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm feeling.
There's always a mental battle between my rational brain and my passionate heart.
Honestly I'm losing you, and the feelings you once made me felt.
But maybe it's just me and my imagination.
Make me fall for you all over again, will you?
L
Sep 30, 2011
Sep 29, 2011
Sep 27, 2011
What changes my boy? Is it you, me or both of us?
"Do you have somebody you really care about? [...] Somebody who, when you think about their happiness, you feel happy, too? [...] There's too many people in the world like you. Too many people who don't have anyone they care about. Who think if they don't love anyone else then they're free to do whatever they want. They think they have nothing to lose, and that makes them stronger. If you have nothing to lose, there's nothing you really want, either. You're full of confidence, and look down on people who lose things, who want things, who are happy, or sad sometimes. But that's not the way things are. And it's just not right." Shuichi yoshida- villain
"Do you have somebody you really care about? [...] Somebody who, when you think about their happiness, you feel happy, too? [...] There's too many people in the world like you. Too many people who don't have anyone they care about. Who think if they don't love anyone else then they're free to do whatever they want. They think they have nothing to lose, and that makes them stronger. If you have nothing to lose, there's nothing you really want, either. You're full of confidence, and look down on people who lose things, who want things, who are happy, or sad sometimes. But that's not the way things are. And it's just not right." Shuichi yoshida- villain
Sep 11, 2011
Sep 9, 2011
Sep 8, 2011
Aug 28, 2011
"With friendship it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other, or how many fights you got into. what matters is who said “I’ll be there for you” and who proved it."
You have, countless times. You're always there for me, no matter how ridiculous the situation is, and you picked up the broken pieces when I fall apart. That's why you're (one of) my best friend. Happy twentieth B.
You have, countless times. You're always there for me, no matter how ridiculous the situation is, and you picked up the broken pieces when I fall apart. That's why you're (one of) my best friend. Happy twentieth B.
Aug 27, 2011
Aug 23, 2011
Aug 21, 2011
Aug 8, 2011
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 30, 2011
Jul 27, 2011
Jul 20, 2011
Jul 17, 2011
Jul 13, 2011
Jul 12, 2011
Jul 11, 2011
"Ultimately, though, it's living people that frighten me the most. It's always seemed to me that nothing could be scarier than a person, because as dreadful as places can be, they're still just places; and no matter how awful ghosts might seem, they're just dead people. I always thought that the most terrifying things anyone could ever think up were the things living people came up with."
been thinking quite a bit about exchange prog, thinking about the school and about leaving familiarity for well, adventure (sort of.)
i'm still in a very jumbled mixed-up state of mind right now, and i don't know how to decide.
i don't know what is best for me, what is best for us .
it is very selfish, and maybe the fact that i'm not very sentimental makes it easier (theoretically at least) for me to leave for a sem. still juggling with the thought of going there alone, without pre-knowing anyone. that kind of independence and freedom does sound very appealing.
been thinking quite a bit about exchange prog, thinking about the school and about leaving familiarity for well, adventure (sort of.)
i'm still in a very jumbled mixed-up state of mind right now, and i don't know how to decide.
i don't know what is best for me, what is best for us .
it is very selfish, and maybe the fact that i'm not very sentimental makes it easier (theoretically at least) for me to leave for a sem. still juggling with the thought of going there alone, without pre-knowing anyone. that kind of independence and freedom does sound very appealing.
Jul 7, 2011
Jul 2, 2011
"Gosh, yes, I do believe that this happens all the time. People are constantly hurting the folks they love the most- by suffocating them with attention, or by not giving them the freedom to grow up and learn who they are, or by thinking they know what's the best for the other person and realizing too late this wasn't the case. There are a million and one examples of relationships that have been smothered by too much love, rather than too little. I'd say that love becomes harmful when you keep telling yourself that you've put your loved one first...but in reality, everything you do and say is really about you, and your own fear of being left behind or lost."
Jodi Picoult
Jodi Picoult
Jul 1, 2011
Jun 26, 2011
"If you’re looking for reasons not to love someone, you’re probably going to find them
but sometimes, we need to give in and let our hearts get what they deserve."
for every ten reasons i came up as to why i should see you, there's always another fifty behind the back of my stupid brain as to why i shouldnt. usually because i'll be playing with fire and that you'll break my heart. somehow. eventually.
but the heart always triumphs.
for every ten reasons i came up as to why i should see you, there's always another fifty behind the back of my stupid brain as to why i shouldnt. usually because i'll be playing with fire and that you'll break my heart. somehow. eventually.
but the heart always triumphs.
Jun 25, 2011
Jun 23, 2011
Jun 17, 2011
my dear boy,
when i caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, it striked me pretty hard that here we are, imprefectly as ever, but look at us, we've really come quite far.
that really brought me back down to earth, and for a second, any doubts i had about the future vanished.
the three years plan/promise, we're halfway through. and honestly its not gonna get any easier, but much much harder.
they say love becomes greater and nobler in calamity.
i hope that is true for us.
crazy shift at beerfest yest. other than cashing out, really really loving it.
conservative parents, sighhhh
when i caught a glimpse of us in the mirror, it striked me pretty hard that here we are, imprefectly as ever, but look at us, we've really come quite far.
that really brought me back down to earth, and for a second, any doubts i had about the future vanished.
the three years plan/promise, we're halfway through. and honestly its not gonna get any easier, but much much harder.
they say love becomes greater and nobler in calamity.
i hope that is true for us.
crazy shift at beerfest yest. other than cashing out, really really loving it.
conservative parents, sighhhh
Jun 15, 2011
Jun 13, 2011
Jun 9, 2011
Jun 8, 2011
silly boy, has it never occurred to you that i may the one with a change of heart?
two unexpected phone calls tonight, one from you and one from a friend in an exotic island. both got me thinking.
i should have put you on a higher priority, but i didn't.
i should be the one standing by you when you need me, but i'm not doing my job well.
i should made time for you, but i didn't.
and here i am rethinking what i want from you, what sort of relationship we can both settle for
being with you wasn't easy, and little did i know letting you go is gonna be much harder.
two unexpected phone calls tonight, one from you and one from a friend in an exotic island. both got me thinking.
i should have put you on a higher priority, but i didn't.
i should be the one standing by you when you need me, but i'm not doing my job well.
i should made time for you, but i didn't.
and here i am rethinking what i want from you, what sort of relationship we can both settle for
being with you wasn't easy, and little did i know letting you go is gonna be much harder.
"Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming
In this california king bed
We're 10,000 miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California king"
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming
In this california king bed
We're 10,000 miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California king"
Jun 7, 2011
May 21, 2011
back.but will be going off going tml morning
goodbye hongkong, hello vietnam
its really time for me to disconnect myself with the world and with familiar faces for a while.
i've got so many questions in my head with no answers, and maybe some time away from civilisation will help me see the world clearer.
time is never enough.never.
goodbye hongkong, hello vietnam
its really time for me to disconnect myself with the world and with familiar faces for a while.
i've got so many questions in my head with no answers, and maybe some time away from civilisation will help me see the world clearer.
time is never enough.never.
May 10, 2011
Post-GE2011 thoughts.
Honestly I've never been so interested in local politics before, and elections have never been this competitive before. And I think this GE did Singapore alot of good.
For one, i see so many people being more interested in politics. I always feel that people are turned off by politics, but i never know the reason. The usual arguments are politics is boring, its not engaging, or that politics has nothing to do with their lives. wrong wrong wrong!
There's a stronger opposition (in general) this time round, quality wise they deserve credits. A-teams of different parties being send out to different constituencies to contest, people that not only have qualifications but also convictions. in other words, the right reason. I cannot stress how important it is to enter politics for the right reason. People say that politics is a gamble, thats pretty valid. WP gambled big, and they won big. Chiam gambled quite a bit too, but that didnt pay off as well as expected.
but the rules of the game is different. if politics is a gamble, then they are not gambling thousands of dollars, but rather thousands of the people's future, and also Singapore's future. It is not a bad thing, because this gamble may actually pay off. But like any high-return investments, the risks and stakes increase too. i really hope that whichever parties these politicians are affiliated to, they'll quickly reconcile the differences and be constructive and supportive, not only because they are elected, but because beneath all that differences we're all pro-Singapore. I really hope so.
And so like in any game there will be loser(s), and I'm still really really upset that GeorgeYeo will be leaving politics. Then there's the whole exchange TinPeiLing for GeorgeYeo thing. Iknow she carries KateSpade and maybe is not as mature as what people may expect, but I think we're all too quick to judge. myself included. I'm not pro-TPL or anything, but is it time to give her a chance to prove herself? Which brings me to my next point: judging.
I know alot of people are voting the opposition not because they are strong, but because they've lost faith in the government. While I dont necessarily agree with everything the PAP does/did, i do think that they are capable. not so empathetic maybe, but i dont doubt their contributions. same with the opposition. they have some pretty good suggestions, and i think they've been on the ground for a while to know the reality, but again i dont agree with everything they propose. But the point is, I feel that people are again too quick to judge, and they are not as rational. Having oppositions for the mere sake of having oppositions, will that be a good choice? will that lead to progress of any sort?
Too much comparison and generalisations have been made, but few take time to really know what they are talking about. Is like saying a party is bad not because of the policies they propose but based on impressions, sometimes secondhand impressions. This time round too many irrelavant attacks were fired, some personal one, and too much dramas were played up (think tears and apology). It've almost became a game of appearance, instead of solid capabilities of serving.
Really politics is more than just elections and campaigning, that is only the start, or the end, depending on how you see it. The real thing have just started, so much more sweat and sleep need to be sacrificed, so much more opinions and voices need to be heard, so much more pairs of hands are needed to help make this place home, so much more needs to be done. The fun part really, is not winning the election, but the pride of serving the people and the country.
I've been in other place long enough to know that what is offered here is what others may never get right or will take another decade or more to get, because of the culture, the politics, the mindset, the geography, and so much more. I'm always so proud to be a Singaporean (yes i am, not a ciizen or PR) because i know we have weathered so many storms just to get here. its no easy feat, and the future will be so much more exciting, more vibrant (politically too i hope!).
The political scene here is definitely changing, it has to change to be viable really, but i'm definitely excited for the future. taking up political science has got nothing to do with future job prospects or money, but rather its the only way i know to try make a difference in future. This GE may just be the national awakening we all needed, and as Aristotle suggested, we're all political animals, and everybody has got something to contribute to the good of society. I hope people have a change in attitude and mindset towards politics.
This is only a start, we're still a long way to a truly mature and democratic society. But this is a good start, and trust me, we will only move forward, never backwards.
Honestly I've never been so interested in local politics before, and elections have never been this competitive before. And I think this GE did Singapore alot of good.
For one, i see so many people being more interested in politics. I always feel that people are turned off by politics, but i never know the reason. The usual arguments are politics is boring, its not engaging, or that politics has nothing to do with their lives. wrong wrong wrong!
There's a stronger opposition (in general) this time round, quality wise they deserve credits. A-teams of different parties being send out to different constituencies to contest, people that not only have qualifications but also convictions. in other words, the right reason. I cannot stress how important it is to enter politics for the right reason. People say that politics is a gamble, thats pretty valid. WP gambled big, and they won big. Chiam gambled quite a bit too, but that didnt pay off as well as expected.
but the rules of the game is different. if politics is a gamble, then they are not gambling thousands of dollars, but rather thousands of the people's future, and also Singapore's future. It is not a bad thing, because this gamble may actually pay off. But like any high-return investments, the risks and stakes increase too. i really hope that whichever parties these politicians are affiliated to, they'll quickly reconcile the differences and be constructive and supportive, not only because they are elected, but because beneath all that differences we're all pro-Singapore. I really hope so.
And so like in any game there will be loser(s), and I'm still really really upset that GeorgeYeo will be leaving politics. Then there's the whole exchange TinPeiLing for GeorgeYeo thing. Iknow she carries KateSpade and maybe is not as mature as what people may expect, but I think we're all too quick to judge. myself included. I'm not pro-TPL or anything, but is it time to give her a chance to prove herself? Which brings me to my next point: judging.
I know alot of people are voting the opposition not because they are strong, but because they've lost faith in the government. While I dont necessarily agree with everything the PAP does/did, i do think that they are capable. not so empathetic maybe, but i dont doubt their contributions. same with the opposition. they have some pretty good suggestions, and i think they've been on the ground for a while to know the reality, but again i dont agree with everything they propose. But the point is, I feel that people are again too quick to judge, and they are not as rational. Having oppositions for the mere sake of having oppositions, will that be a good choice? will that lead to progress of any sort?
Too much comparison and generalisations have been made, but few take time to really know what they are talking about. Is like saying a party is bad not because of the policies they propose but based on impressions, sometimes secondhand impressions. This time round too many irrelavant attacks were fired, some personal one, and too much dramas were played up (think tears and apology). It've almost became a game of appearance, instead of solid capabilities of serving.
Really politics is more than just elections and campaigning, that is only the start, or the end, depending on how you see it. The real thing have just started, so much more sweat and sleep need to be sacrificed, so much more opinions and voices need to be heard, so much more pairs of hands are needed to help make this place home, so much more needs to be done. The fun part really, is not winning the election, but the pride of serving the people and the country.
I've been in other place long enough to know that what is offered here is what others may never get right or will take another decade or more to get, because of the culture, the politics, the mindset, the geography, and so much more. I'm always so proud to be a Singaporean (yes i am, not a ciizen or PR) because i know we have weathered so many storms just to get here. its no easy feat, and the future will be so much more exciting, more vibrant (politically too i hope!).
The political scene here is definitely changing, it has to change to be viable really, but i'm definitely excited for the future. taking up political science has got nothing to do with future job prospects or money, but rather its the only way i know to try make a difference in future. This GE may just be the national awakening we all needed, and as Aristotle suggested, we're all political animals, and everybody has got something to contribute to the good of society. I hope people have a change in attitude and mindset towards politics.
This is only a start, we're still a long way to a truly mature and democratic society. But this is a good start, and trust me, we will only move forward, never backwards.
May 8, 2011
"Yes, I love you very much, as I have never loved another man and that is precisely why I am leaving, because, if I stayed, the dream would become reality, the desire to possess, to want your life to be mine...in short, all the things that transform love into slavery. It's best left like this-- a dream. We have to be careful what we take from a country, or from life."
May 7, 2011
".. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with."
May 5, 2011
May 3, 2011
you gave me something to look forward to,
and so effortlessly you made my day a million times brighter.
maybe we're beautiful because out time together are too short, and it forces us to be at our very best. maybe its because its so fleeting, so fragile, so temporal that we savor every second and immortalize our time together.
no regrets, no regrets. 我用无悔 刻永世爱你的碑
and so effortlessly you made my day a million times brighter.
maybe we're beautiful because out time together are too short, and it forces us to be at our very best. maybe its because its so fleeting, so fragile, so temporal that we savor every second and immortalize our time together.
no regrets, no regrets. 我用无悔 刻永世爱你的碑
May 2, 2011
its just really tiring that i have to constantly make sure that i keep my distance and not be too close to people because i dont want to give any of them any wrong ideas.
its sad because sometimes i find myself hitting off really well with some of these people, and i have to keep reminding myself that there's an invisible line nobody should cross.
i should just hibernate and be an anti-social person. the world is too strange for me to understand.
Apr 30, 2011
i'm the kind that wont listen to people telling me that playing with fire may burn me.i'm the kind that have to get burnt before learning the lesson. And the sad part is that sometimes after learning the lesson, i unlearn them and get hurt again. I wonder if i'm really ignorant or ignorant by choice sometimes. Its strange that i rather spend brain cells thinking about democracy and philosphy and GE but not spend half the time sorting out my complicated life. Maybe i thought that time will sort out the problem by itslef, somehow, magically. Too bad reality dont work that way huh.
Apr 28, 2011
Apr 26, 2011
"You are the light of the world. Shine, and darkness will disappear."
Coelho
recently liked coelho on FB and i'm practically liking all his status. very inspirational stuffs, especially when i'm fighting a war here.
i should be studying, instead i'm learning very random things, like the speech where obama quoted coelho, or the medieval era, or how singaporeans clocked more than 2000 working hours annualy, toping SEA. seriously Leonie..
Coelho
recently liked coelho on FB and i'm practically liking all his status. very inspirational stuffs, especially when i'm fighting a war here.
i should be studying, instead i'm learning very random things, like the speech where obama quoted coelho, or the medieval era, or how singaporeans clocked more than 2000 working hours annualy, toping SEA. seriously Leonie..
Apr 23, 2011
Apr 21, 2011
Apr 20, 2011
Apr 18, 2011
half a day full of political debates, both inside my head and with a friend.
its a good change for once, though very mentally draining.
i totally agree civil society is important, but thats not the point.
the point is how many people actually care enough to not just criticize but think of alternative, to debate issues on ethics and morality and justice, to actually make a difference? complaining is easy, talk is cheap, and thats why they are hardly constructive at all.
its sad to think that people no longer take time to actually think about so many things that affects them. the concept of time has really changed, and life for that matter.
pit yourself against those more intelligent, or those that have seen more of the world than you do, because only then will you be humbled.
plus i'm finally not taken as some damsel-in-distress by egoistic mcp. its really nice to be for once taken as a serious friend for political discourse, no pressure.
fate really does work in very miraculous ways.
its a good change for once, though very mentally draining.
i totally agree civil society is important, but thats not the point.
the point is how many people actually care enough to not just criticize but think of alternative, to debate issues on ethics and morality and justice, to actually make a difference? complaining is easy, talk is cheap, and thats why they are hardly constructive at all.
its sad to think that people no longer take time to actually think about so many things that affects them. the concept of time has really changed, and life for that matter.
pit yourself against those more intelligent, or those that have seen more of the world than you do, because only then will you be humbled.
plus i'm finally not taken as some damsel-in-distress by egoistic mcp. its really nice to be for once taken as a serious friend for political discourse, no pressure.
fate really does work in very miraculous ways.
Apr 17, 2011
going to(new) secret place tml. cant wait
plan A (short term plan) first things first, find someone that does not have such a common name you hear it everywhere in conversations, in movies bla bla or else guilt level multiplies. especially when you just made time for friends, but not him
plan B (long term plan) find someone better. find someone serious. find someone that will be not only be parental-approved but also best-friends-approved. find someone that can put up with weird habits and fragile emotions. find a real life equivalent of roarke.
p.s. watching bridget jones and hoping that nice guys are not extinct yet.
plan A (short term plan) first things first, find someone that does not have such a common name you hear it everywhere in conversations, in movies bla bla or else guilt level multiplies. especially when you just made time for friends, but not him
plan B (long term plan) find someone better. find someone serious. find someone that will be not only be parental-approved but also best-friends-approved. find someone that can put up with weird habits and fragile emotions. find a real life equivalent of roarke.
p.s. watching bridget jones and hoping that nice guys are not extinct yet.
Apr 15, 2011
"The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting"
-Andy Warhol
we're on the way to becoming real friends, something more than just hi-byes
whether or not there's anything more, only time can tell
i'm glad someone supports this theory.
i'm feeling super vulnerable these few days, which is hardly a good sign at all
need to escape, even if its just for a while.
-Andy Warhol
we're on the way to becoming real friends, something more than just hi-byes
whether or not there's anything more, only time can tell
i'm glad someone supports this theory.
i'm feeling super vulnerable these few days, which is hardly a good sign at all
need to escape, even if its just for a while.
Apr 14, 2011
haven't had so much fun for a while :)
its hard to find someone that talks on the same wavelength as me, that can challenge me and yet not appear intimidating at the same time. Its hard to find someone to hold a conversation about Machiavelli, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, politics, golden ration, v-formation, atheism, the English language, Singapore's history, the abstractness of time and so much more, all within three hours. it was good time spent, plus we get to explore Singapore, disguising the fact that we got lost for a bit.
then again, its even harder to find a bestest that is always there for me. for the childish movie and much needed water and drive back to hall plus depressing/confused talks and for always believing in me. i cannot ask for a better friend.
i'm not good with words, but i'll try to explain
its like he's always not here with me, even though at times i push him away from me.
its like i miss him so much it doesnt matter anymore,
because i've learnt to live without him.
i'm not in any way needy, and i enjoy my freedom in every way.
the thing is, he's not my priority, and i dont want to be his priority.
we're meant for greater things, and we both know.
we've come to far to forget, but yet, we shouldnt continue deceiving ourselves.
maybe our time is up.
but the end of something is always a beginning of another.
i'm not actually afraid of losing him, i'm just afraid of losing memories of him.
it was a good relationship. not exactly the healthiest or least destructive, but nonetheless unforgettable. had been and always will be.
its hard to find someone that talks on the same wavelength as me, that can challenge me and yet not appear intimidating at the same time. Its hard to find someone to hold a conversation about Machiavelli, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, politics, golden ration, v-formation, atheism, the English language, Singapore's history, the abstractness of time and so much more, all within three hours. it was good time spent, plus we get to explore Singapore, disguising the fact that we got lost for a bit.
then again, its even harder to find a bestest that is always there for me. for the childish movie and much needed water and drive back to hall plus depressing/confused talks and for always believing in me. i cannot ask for a better friend.
i'm not good with words, but i'll try to explain
its like he's always not here with me, even though at times i push him away from me.
its like i miss him so much it doesnt matter anymore,
because i've learnt to live without him.
i'm not in any way needy, and i enjoy my freedom in every way.
the thing is, he's not my priority, and i dont want to be his priority.
we're meant for greater things, and we both know.
we've come to far to forget, but yet, we shouldnt continue deceiving ourselves.
maybe our time is up.
but the end of something is always a beginning of another.
i'm not actually afraid of losing him, i'm just afraid of losing memories of him.
it was a good relationship. not exactly the healthiest or least destructive, but nonetheless unforgettable. had been and always will be.
Apr 11, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
the game of seduction is so much easier than the game of love.
but wht's love anyway?
i think i need to start thinking about being in a more stable r/s, rather than well, love games that are (self) destructive and never lasts.
they all follow the same pattern: hi-bye to add on facebook to actually becoming real friend to msn convos to texts to calls to going out for a movie or dinner and to maybe becoming something more than just friends.
but most of the times i cant see those signs because i'm concentrating on being a friend, instead of potential lover.
and some where along the line i'll start hurting people.
so now once its at msn convos or text stage, i start keeping my distance.
this way, at least there wont be any losers.
and we get to keep the status as friends.
one of my new year resolution is to not break any heart, or at least minimise the chances. i'm still keeping scores.
so far, so good.
but wht's love anyway?
i think i need to start thinking about being in a more stable r/s, rather than well, love games that are (self) destructive and never lasts.
they all follow the same pattern: hi-bye to add on facebook to actually becoming real friend to msn convos to texts to calls to going out for a movie or dinner and to maybe becoming something more than just friends.
but most of the times i cant see those signs because i'm concentrating on being a friend, instead of potential lover.
and some where along the line i'll start hurting people.
so now once its at msn convos or text stage, i start keeping my distance.
this way, at least there wont be any losers.
and we get to keep the status as friends.
one of my new year resolution is to not break any heart, or at least minimise the chances. i'm still keeping scores.
so far, so good.
Apr 6, 2011
guilt, it's eating me alive
pressure, it's overwhelming me so bad.
but i hope love will anchor me back down and make the fight all worthwhile.
i'm sorry for being a bad friend/lover/insecure ever-whinny-and-complainy bitch sometimes.
i dont know why people are still standing by me after all these while because i never thought for a second that i deserve all these awesome people in my life.
its in trying times that i really see who the real friends are and trust me, i'll catch grenade(s) for these people.
<3
yst was just a trial run, a test drive; but i've understood what my heart really wants
and i'll try to not fight it.
pressure, it's overwhelming me so bad.
but i hope love will anchor me back down and make the fight all worthwhile.
i'm sorry for being a bad friend/lover/insecure ever-whinny-and-complainy bitch sometimes.
i dont know why people are still standing by me after all these while because i never thought for a second that i deserve all these awesome people in my life.
its in trying times that i really see who the real friends are and trust me, i'll catch grenade(s) for these people.
<3
yst was just a trial run, a test drive; but i've understood what my heart really wants
and i'll try to not fight it.
Apr 5, 2011
When you go for a battle, you dont think of what you'll do when you lose. you'll think how to make sure you win.
not really a word for word transcription, but that was roughly what the PM said in KRMF, and it really struck me.
sometimes, there's no plan B. the plan really, is just to continue believing and fighting for what you stand for. because if you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
anywy, stumbled upon this lovely article by coelho. it's brilliant and i am so psyched that he've got a new book coming soon.
10sec reading: how to achieve inmortality.
When he was still a young man, Beethoven decided to compose a few improvisations on a music by Pergolesi. He devoted months to this task and finally had the courage to publish it.
A critic wrote a full page review in a German newspaper in which he launched a ferocious attack on the music.
Beethoven, however, was quite unshaken by his comments. When his friends pressed him to respond to the critic, he merely said:
‘All I need to do is to carry on with my work. If the music I compose is as good as I think it is, then it will survive that journalist. “If it has the depth I hope it has, it will survive the newspaper too. “Should that ferocious attack on what I do ever be remembered in the future, it will only serve as an example of the imbecility of critics.’
Beethoven was absolutely right. Over a hundred years later, that same review was mentioned in a radio programme in São Paulo.
this too, can be said of politics. isn't it?
not really a word for word transcription, but that was roughly what the PM said in KRMF, and it really struck me.
sometimes, there's no plan B. the plan really, is just to continue believing and fighting for what you stand for. because if you dont stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
anywy, stumbled upon this lovely article by coelho. it's brilliant and i am so psyched that he've got a new book coming soon.
10sec reading: how to achieve inmortality.
When he was still a young man, Beethoven decided to compose a few improvisations on a music by Pergolesi. He devoted months to this task and finally had the courage to publish it.
A critic wrote a full page review in a German newspaper in which he launched a ferocious attack on the music.
Beethoven, however, was quite unshaken by his comments. When his friends pressed him to respond to the critic, he merely said:
‘All I need to do is to carry on with my work. If the music I compose is as good as I think it is, then it will survive that journalist. “If it has the depth I hope it has, it will survive the newspaper too. “Should that ferocious attack on what I do ever be remembered in the future, it will only serve as an example of the imbecility of critics.’
Beethoven was absolutely right. Over a hundred years later, that same review was mentioned in a radio programme in São Paulo.
this too, can be said of politics. isn't it?
Apr 3, 2011
Apr 2, 2011
Mar 31, 2011
i wish people would stop and think for a while.
i'm still appaled by the fact that after years and decades and centuries, people never learn. we're still making war, not peace.
in the past, people conquer for territory. now they conquer for resources.
i mean, i know human nature never change that much and that we're still that selfish and self-interested, but hey people are freaking dying every.single.day, sometimes for a cause they're not interested in.
so you're sacrificing people in the name of what?
sure you'd say they're fighting for freedom, equality, democracy and those fancy names.
but really, aint you fighting for resources to futher your self interest?
its easy to say go to war when those soldiers are not your children. but do you realise that they are the future of you?
if you're not trying to make the world a better place then please, dont play the political game. The stakes are way too high, and same goes to the responsibilty that comes with it.we're not your chances.neither are we your pawns. We only live once.
i'm still appaled by the fact that after years and decades and centuries, people never learn. we're still making war, not peace.
in the past, people conquer for territory. now they conquer for resources.
i mean, i know human nature never change that much and that we're still that selfish and self-interested, but hey people are freaking dying every.single.day, sometimes for a cause they're not interested in.
so you're sacrificing people in the name of what?
sure you'd say they're fighting for freedom, equality, democracy and those fancy names.
but really, aint you fighting for resources to futher your self interest?
its easy to say go to war when those soldiers are not your children. but do you realise that they are the future of you?
if you're not trying to make the world a better place then please, dont play the political game. The stakes are way too high, and same goes to the responsibilty that comes with it.we're not your chances.neither are we your pawns. We only live once.
Mar 30, 2011
Mar 26, 2011
seriously all that's in my mind right now is NGOs in Bangladesh and democracy in Singapore. Not exactly the most pleasant topics.
Studying politics, looking at the forests instead of the tree, they've made me more sceptical than ever. I have come to realise that really, the world is such a screwed up place.
But please dont put all the blame on politicians. Admitedly power corrupts, but really, alot of those in power are just trying to make this place alittle better.
I hope I can be the latter in time to come.
just wrote two pages worth of why microcredit by ngos are flawed. my faith for a better world just decreased further :(
Studying politics, looking at the forests instead of the tree, they've made me more sceptical than ever. I have come to realise that really, the world is such a screwed up place.
But please dont put all the blame on politicians. Admitedly power corrupts, but really, alot of those in power are just trying to make this place alittle better.
I hope I can be the latter in time to come.
just wrote two pages worth of why microcredit by ngos are flawed. my faith for a better world just decreased further :(
"I have a partner,yes," he admits. He makes a serious face and eats a clam. "It's not the passionate, stormy love you find in a Puccini opera or anything. We keep a careful distance from each oher. We don't get together that often, but we do understand each other at a deep, basic level.
Murakami- Kafka on the Shore
admitting that a relationship is flawed is so much better than deceiving the world and yourself that you have a perfect relationship.
been thinking alot.
its not even that i dont realise i deserve better.
its just that i can never phantom the thought of living without you.
i've been thinking of you on a daily basis i cant not think about you.it's a habit i've yet to break.
If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don’t hold him from his destiny. Don’t keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don’t ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don’t ask him for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer,fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.
But should he not return to you, then life hasn’t cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful.
By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.
— Ala Paredes (via themorninglight)
Murakami- Kafka on the Shore
admitting that a relationship is flawed is so much better than deceiving the world and yourself that you have a perfect relationship.
been thinking alot.
its not even that i dont realise i deserve better.
its just that i can never phantom the thought of living without you.
i've been thinking of you on a daily basis i cant not think about you.it's a habit i've yet to break.
If you love someone, ask him for nothing. Don’t hold him from his destiny. Don’t keep him from going off in search of his own answers. Don’t ask him for commitment. You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly, and not as something obligatory. Don’t ask him for promises. If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come. And when that time arrives, then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free, and have instead gained a richer,fuller life, a wealth of experiences, and a stronger certainty of your desires.
But should he not return to you, then life hasn’t cheated you because no promises were broken. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing him has already made life infinitely more meaningful.
By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.
— Ala Paredes (via themorninglight)
Mar 22, 2011
Mar 21, 2011
"am i neglecting you?"
when i ask you that, i need you to tell me the truth.
truth is, i dont make the best decisions all the time. i do make bad choices, bad judgments. i'm not all the time rational, i'm emotional and passionate. and most of the time i trust my heart rather than my brain.
but i do miss you. even though i try and deny it all the time.
if i dont miss you then why am i feeling this way?
your one touch one look one kiss can change my decision, thats how much you mean to me now.
maybe in a couple weeks/months/years dynamic of our relation will change, but for now, please stand by me.
when i ask you that, i need you to tell me the truth.
truth is, i dont make the best decisions all the time. i do make bad choices, bad judgments. i'm not all the time rational, i'm emotional and passionate. and most of the time i trust my heart rather than my brain.
but i do miss you. even though i try and deny it all the time.
if i dont miss you then why am i feeling this way?
your one touch one look one kiss can change my decision, thats how much you mean to me now.
maybe in a couple weeks/months/years dynamic of our relation will change, but for now, please stand by me.
Mar 20, 2011
okay so maybe cutting bangs wasnt such a disaster after all :)
two polsci essays to write, one huge termpaper to research, one forum to attend, two scary injections, meetup with van to discuss getaway, weekly readings plus my own readings to do, lim's dance perf on sunday. thats a pretty busy week ahead.
i'm not making up the fact that i'm busy.i just really am.that's school i guess
plus i need alot of sleep.
i'm not trying to say that pushing you away is right, i'm just saying that maybe we all need a little more breathing space sometimes.
two polsci essays to write, one huge termpaper to research, one forum to attend, two scary injections, meetup with van to discuss getaway, weekly readings plus my own readings to do, lim's dance perf on sunday. thats a pretty busy week ahead.
i'm not making up the fact that i'm busy.i just really am.that's school i guess
plus i need alot of sleep.
i'm not trying to say that pushing you away is right, i'm just saying that maybe we all need a little more breathing space sometimes.
Mar 18, 2011
Oh, by the way...
probably wont be keeping those bangs but yeah, i've just got to see how i look like with bangs. now i know.
"Michael, I'm happy here with you. You're happpy here with me. Isn't it true? It's a miracle we're here at all. Isn't that enough?"
I am silent for a while and concentrate on that. Yes, it is true, but no, it is not enough.
Vikram Seth: an Equal Music
i wish there were two me, that way maybe i wont sacrifice you that much. i'm sorry my priority now is not you, esp now that i'm 10x more motivated to study hard and get into a good school for sep. i'm sorry i'm spending so little time with you, but i'm not apologetic for my choice
iam/ we are both) selfish creatures, aint we?
probably wont be keeping those bangs but yeah, i've just got to see how i look like with bangs. now i know.
"Michael, I'm happy here with you. You're happpy here with me. Isn't it true? It's a miracle we're here at all. Isn't that enough?"
I am silent for a while and concentrate on that. Yes, it is true, but no, it is not enough.
Vikram Seth: an Equal Music
i wish there were two me, that way maybe i wont sacrifice you that much. i'm sorry my priority now is not you, esp now that i'm 10x more motivated to study hard and get into a good school for sep. i'm sorry i'm spending so little time with you, but i'm not apologetic for my choice
iam/ we are both) selfish creatures, aint we?
Mar 15, 2011
Mar 13, 2011
Mar 8, 2011
"I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are"
Diana Krall: Just the way you are
i love waking up to beautiful music playing in my head.
needs more discipline,thinking out loud and caffeine to tide me through this crazy week.
Love is more than just companionship,is it?
I'll take you just the way you are"
Diana Krall: Just the way you are
i love waking up to beautiful music playing in my head.
needs more discipline,thinking out loud and caffeine to tide me through this crazy week.
Love is more than just companionship,is it?
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
devoured murakami's norwegian woods for the second time, still loving it. the number of post-its say it all
not my favourite amongst his works, but its still good.
funny how the book that escalates a writer to fame is never my favourite. murakami's norwegian wood, coelho's alchemist, picoult's sister's keeper. they are all a decent good read, but not their best in my opinion.
"After a long time of watching the glittering rooftops and the smoke and the red dragonflies and other things, we had felt something warm and close, and we both probably wanted, half-consciously, to preserve that mood in some form. It was that kind of kiss. But as with all kisses, it was not without certain element of danger."
i'm pretty excited that norwegian wood is gonna be up on the big screen, but i'm also very afraid that it will dissapoint. there's really nothing like pyhsically reading the book and experiencing the magic.
i think i'm a drifter.
the kind where family and friends and probably lover can never tie me down, they'll just make me wanna come back to a place where i should belong.
but i'm still not ready to trade my freedom.not yet.
Mar 3, 2011
i wonder if you would fight for me as much as i fought for you.
i admit that i dont make the best of decisions all the time.
but even if you were a mistake, i would have repeated it all the time.
you opened up a whole new world for me without trying to smoulder or suffocate me.
thats really more than i could ever ask for.
why is time never on our side?
i admit that i dont make the best of decisions all the time.
but even if you were a mistake, i would have repeated it all the time.
you opened up a whole new world for me without trying to smoulder or suffocate me.
thats really more than i could ever ask for.
why is time never on our side?
Mar 2, 2011
Feb 28, 2011
"The look of love is in your eyes
A look your smile can't disguise
The look of love is saying so much more than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away
I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you
You've got the
Look of love, it's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight, let this be just the start of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow and then seal it with a kiss
Don't ever go
Don't ever go
I love you so"
Loving Diana Krall's (live in paris) version. lovely melody, amazing vocals, delightful little piano solo :)
i'll fight for a love as beautiful as you.
A look your smile can't disguise
The look of love is saying so much more than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away
I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you, now that I have found you
You've got the
Look of love, it's on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight, let this be just the start of so many nights like this
Let's take a lover's vow and then seal it with a kiss
Don't ever go
Don't ever go
I love you so"
Loving Diana Krall's (live in paris) version. lovely melody, amazing vocals, delightful little piano solo :)
i'll fight for a love as beautiful as you.
"As I later learned, music is as old as human beings. Our ancestors, who travelled from cave to cave, couldn't carry mnay things, but modern archaeology shows that, as well as the little they might have with them in the way of food, there was always a musical instrument in their baggage, usually a drum. Music isn't just something that comforts or dirstracts us, it goes beyond that- it's an ideology. You can judge people by the kind of music they listen to."
Coelho: The Witch of Portobello
Been re-reading lots of Coelho.
The kind of literature that makes sense to me and is so inspiring
back to reality for me (and you) soon.
Coelho: The Witch of Portobello
Been re-reading lots of Coelho.
The kind of literature that makes sense to me and is so inspiring
back to reality for me (and you) soon.
Feb 25, 2011
i wish it's easier for me to forget you, or to hate you.
but its close to impossible for now.
be safe, icant wait to see you again when you're back.
a year after, i'm glad you're still mine.
and the promise that i'm yours to keep is still true.
so what if i cant conform to the either-single-or-in-a-relationship status?
let them judge, it wouldnt change anything anyway.
but its close to impossible for now.
be safe, icant wait to see you again when you're back.
a year after, i'm glad you're still mine.
and the promise that i'm yours to keep is still true.
so what if i cant conform to the either-single-or-in-a-relationship status?
let them judge, it wouldnt change anything anyway.
Feb 23, 2011
sometimes i wish people can see the bigger picture, really.
probably the reason why politics in general made so much sense to me, but politicians dont.
take a step back, look out for the forest and not just the tree.
its the same thing with music.
people only think that music is to relax, to regulate emotions(obviously i was paying attention in class) and all that blah blah.which is true
but
if people ever look at the bigger picture, and move away from all the commercialisation and glamourisation and hollywoodisation of music, they will realise that music at its core is so much more powerful and influential and well, very human(e).
people dont think and reflect and ponder and question enough. but then again, maybe i'm the weird one here.
given time, some things change, some don't. and some get better and better.
we belong to the last category.
probably the reason why politics in general made so much sense to me, but politicians dont.
take a step back, look out for the forest and not just the tree.
its the same thing with music.
people only think that music is to relax, to regulate emotions(obviously i was paying attention in class) and all that blah blah.which is true
but
if people ever look at the bigger picture, and move away from all the commercialisation and glamourisation and hollywoodisation of music, they will realise that music at its core is so much more powerful and influential and well, very human(e).
people dont think and reflect and ponder and question enough. but then again, maybe i'm the weird one here.
given time, some things change, some don't. and some get better and better.
we belong to the last category.
Feb 19, 2011
"Oh, I can't explain. When I like people immensely, I never tell their names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be one thing that can make modern life mysterious and marvellous to me. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one's life. I suppose you think me awfully foolish about it?"
this really summarised the odd things do so neatly!
this really summarised the odd things do so neatly!
Feb 15, 2011
b i think you're wrong
you said that if it was the then-me, i would have taken a measuring tape to prove the theory.
but i would have said that i wont even bother, i'll take whatever he said as gospel truth.
growing up and being less naive is both a good and bad thing.
and i cant decide which side i'm on.
thankyou for driving over just to pass me two boxes of nerds! <3
if everything goes well, next week will be the best week ever.
you said that if it was the then-me, i would have taken a measuring tape to prove the theory.
but i would have said that i wont even bother, i'll take whatever he said as gospel truth.
growing up and being less naive is both a good and bad thing.
and i cant decide which side i'm on.
thankyou for driving over just to pass me two boxes of nerds! <3
if everything goes well, next week will be the best week ever.
Feb 14, 2011
" They are the prisoners of their personal history. Eeryone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if its was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams."
Coelho, The Zahir
This pretty much sums up why i'm still single (by choice)
when i love someone, i really lose myself. i'm drowned and drunk and blinded.
how did you spend last valentines'?
i can so remember last year, because it was the first time i broke the curfew. big time breaking the unspoken curfew.
it was the night when i learnt that we can speak, even in silence.
i spend the dawn with someone i truly cared, thinking about the crazy few months we had.
a year later today, i'm still amazed that we've come this far.
this year got to be the most un-happening valentines' ever :(
Coelho, The Zahir
This pretty much sums up why i'm still single (by choice)
when i love someone, i really lose myself. i'm drowned and drunk and blinded.
how did you spend last valentines'?
i can so remember last year, because it was the first time i broke the curfew. big time breaking the unspoken curfew.
it was the night when i learnt that we can speak, even in silence.
i spend the dawn with someone i truly cared, thinking about the crazy few months we had.
a year later today, i'm still amazed that we've come this far.
this year got to be the most un-happening valentines' ever :(
Feb 12, 2011
i honestly feel that i have every reason to be angsty, unappreciative and ungrateful.
it's barely midterm and i'm already having zero time for myself.i dont like this one bit.
to top it off, the amount of readings and research and presentation and catching-ups are utterly insane and neverending.
and i havent seen loverboy in a million years.
but
i also have a thousand reasons to be grateful.
i have the best kind of friends that i sometimes dont think i deserve.
i'm lucky to have a future teacher and a future lawyer as project mates. not only is it not awkward to work with them but they are also incredibly insightful and intelligent, its very satisfying to debate plato with them.
i have bestest that willingly(ahem) gave up hot date(s) to rescue me
i have van to talk politics with at ungodly hour on a saturday morning. and she told me some i-would-probably-never know-of story about tulip itallian financial crisis.or something along those lines.
maybe it's time i start counting my blessings.
p.s. yessssssssssssssssssss! after educating myself for 2hours about the egypt situation, i am sure i can smoke through my plato presentation with a pseudo-intelligent content. initially i thought i wont be able to do a full 10min speech but now i'm over the time limit. :) time for a break! :)
p.s
Leo: But i do think the rest of the gang is going to naturally assume that b's my guy since the way we talk and interact is probably too suspicious to be just friends. but that suits me just fine :)
Van: Huh. So seeing other girls is more impt that Leo? Yup! they will definitely think that way!
hehehe b i just have to type this and show you my convo with van.yay to the first line of her response!
it's barely midterm and i'm already having zero time for myself.i dont like this one bit.
to top it off, the amount of readings and research and presentation and catching-ups are utterly insane and neverending.
and i havent seen loverboy in a million years.
but
i also have a thousand reasons to be grateful.
i have the best kind of friends that i sometimes dont think i deserve.
i'm lucky to have a future teacher and a future lawyer as project mates. not only is it not awkward to work with them but they are also incredibly insightful and intelligent, its very satisfying to debate plato with them.
i have bestest that willingly(ahem) gave up hot date(s) to rescue me
i have van to talk politics with at ungodly hour on a saturday morning. and she told me some i-would-probably-never know-of story about tulip itallian financial crisis.or something along those lines.
maybe it's time i start counting my blessings.
p.s. yessssssssssssssssssss! after educating myself for 2hours about the egypt situation, i am sure i can smoke through my plato presentation with a pseudo-intelligent content. initially i thought i wont be able to do a full 10min speech but now i'm over the time limit. :) time for a break! :)
p.s
Leo: But i do think the rest of the gang is going to naturally assume that b's my guy since the way we talk and interact is probably too suspicious to be just friends. but that suits me just fine :)
Van: Huh. So seeing other girls is more impt that Leo? Yup! they will definitely think that way!
hehehe b i just have to type this and show you my convo with van.yay to the first line of her response!
b
thank you for rescuing me and sacrificing your date(s) (very few people will ever do that for me seriously!)
you know somehow i think you're quite unhappy yst, like something's going on but you're not telling
and i dont want to pry because i know you'll tell when you want to
but its kinda worrying :(
maybe i'm just imagining idk. i'm not exactly as good as you when it comes to guessing if there's something not right.
but you know you can always talk to me about anything.
and vannyyy!
you're the best girlfriend seriously
i talk politics to you and you talk finance to me. and our favourite place to hang out is a bookshop. super geeky but maybe someday we'll rule the world
have more faith and confidence in your piano, your piano skills and the effort you've invested in music. it will all be worthwhile i promise
♥,
Leo
thank you for rescuing me and sacrificing your date(s) (very few people will ever do that for me seriously!)
you know somehow i think you're quite unhappy yst, like something's going on but you're not telling
and i dont want to pry because i know you'll tell when you want to
but its kinda worrying :(
maybe i'm just imagining idk. i'm not exactly as good as you when it comes to guessing if there's something not right.
but you know you can always talk to me about anything.
and vannyyy!
you're the best girlfriend seriously
i talk politics to you and you talk finance to me. and our favourite place to hang out is a bookshop. super geeky but maybe someday we'll rule the world
have more faith and confidence in your piano, your piano skills and the effort you've invested in music. it will all be worthwhile i promise
♥,
Leo
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 7, 2011
When all the world is spinning 'round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down
I am nearly world renowned
As a restless soul who always skips town
But I look for you to come around
And anchor me back down
There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way
When people pin me as a clown
You behave as though I'm wearing a crown
When I'm lost I feel so very found
When you anchor me back down
There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way
When all the world is spinning 'round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down
Mindy Gledhill- Anchor
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down
I am nearly world renowned
As a restless soul who always skips town
But I look for you to come around
And anchor me back down
There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way
When people pin me as a clown
You behave as though I'm wearing a crown
When I'm lost I feel so very found
When you anchor me back down
There are those who think that I'm strange
They would box me up and tell me to change
But you hold me close and softly say
That you wouldn't have me any other way
When all the world is spinning 'round
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds
And my feet will not stay on the ground
You anchor me back down
Mindy Gledhill- Anchor
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 1, 2011
at one end of the spectrum is knowledge, what fully is.
at the other end is ignorance, what absolutely is not.
in between it is opinion.
maybe it's pretty difficult to get full knowledge because that will be wisdom, something that comes with age, experiences and expertise.
but at least be somewhere in between knowledge and opinion, because if you're stuck at ignorance then that will be plain sad.
and yes, all these words are really ancient, but really, how much have human change?
the world is thoroughly a strange place to be in
at the other end is ignorance, what absolutely is not.
in between it is opinion.
maybe it's pretty difficult to get full knowledge because that will be wisdom, something that comes with age, experiences and expertise.
but at least be somewhere in between knowledge and opinion, because if you're stuck at ignorance then that will be plain sad.
and yes, all these words are really ancient, but really, how much have human change?
the world is thoroughly a strange place to be in
Jan 31, 2011
i dont know the rights words to say, neither do i know the the perfect solution for you.
but i can safely tell you that i'll always be here for you.
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” — Henri J.M. Nouwen
but i can safely tell you that i'll always be here for you.
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” — Henri J.M. Nouwen
Jan 30, 2011
"it turns out freedom means nothing but missing you"
when i actually feel this way, then i'll know that i'm ready to be in a r/s.
alot of times i ask myself, what kind of girl would i fall for if i'm a guy?
i think i'll fall for a girl thats confident and independent, someone not needy, not clingy, not damsel in distress.
i'll fall for someone intelligent, someone that will fight for what she wants.
i'll fall for someone that dares to challenge me and make me a better person.
i'll fall for someone beautiful, both on the outside and the inside.
and while i'm nowhere close to becoming that girl yet,
i'm still learning and trying. every single day.
when i actually feel this way, then i'll know that i'm ready to be in a r/s.
alot of times i ask myself, what kind of girl would i fall for if i'm a guy?
i think i'll fall for a girl thats confident and independent, someone not needy, not clingy, not damsel in distress.
i'll fall for someone intelligent, someone that will fight for what she wants.
i'll fall for someone that dares to challenge me and make me a better person.
i'll fall for someone beautiful, both on the outside and the inside.
and while i'm nowhere close to becoming that girl yet,
i'm still learning and trying. every single day.
Jan 28, 2011
B
your (very) overdue post is here!
As usual I gave that night worth of conversation alot of thought
and i wanna tell you that while you're busying yourself with fyp, please take time off for yourself.
we can choose who to spend our time with, and its often with friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family but seldom with ourself.
but more than anything, i hope you can find the balance within yourself.
i will always remember the first few months with loverboy as the craziest days of my life to date.
he opened a brand new world i've never seen, a world that i never thought existed.
and for once i would do anything to be in that world with him.
i went to the extreme. crossing border, cruising at 240 (still awesome!) breaking curfew just to name some.
but then i realise that if i have to keep up with that, then leonie will be gone.
because deep down i'm still a boring, slightly geeky, very predictable person.
i still like to un-occupy myself on weekends, to take hours reading saturday's newspaper with my coffee, to do boring things like homeworks at night, to spend hours on the piano or listening to the stereo.
and while i was trying to figure the whole thing out, that boy of mine told me it was all about balance.
that was his answer. so simple, so easy to what i thought was so complicated and so confusing.
like how i am(according to him), good and bad at the same time, crazy and boring at the same time.it's just about striking a balance
it's not about embracing one and despising the other, it's about having the best of both worlds.
and after that we start doing boring things and still get the kick from just being around each other. watching the planes (his dream!), or camping in bookshops (my favourite kill-time activity) or even people watching with mac's strawberry milkshake on hand.
sometimes it will take another person to help you figure all this out, sometimes it will have to be you yourself.
i dont want you to lose yourself, or to be someone else not yourself. somewhere in between, there's got to be a balance.
think about it.
take random chapters of coelho and reread it again.
and know that i have faith in you.
love,
cong
your (very) overdue post is here!
As usual I gave that night worth of conversation alot of thought
and i wanna tell you that while you're busying yourself with fyp, please take time off for yourself.
we can choose who to spend our time with, and its often with friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family but seldom with ourself.
but more than anything, i hope you can find the balance within yourself.
i will always remember the first few months with loverboy as the craziest days of my life to date.
he opened a brand new world i've never seen, a world that i never thought existed.
and for once i would do anything to be in that world with him.
i went to the extreme. crossing border, cruising at 240 (still awesome!) breaking curfew just to name some.
but then i realise that if i have to keep up with that, then leonie will be gone.
because deep down i'm still a boring, slightly geeky, very predictable person.
i still like to un-occupy myself on weekends, to take hours reading saturday's newspaper with my coffee, to do boring things like homeworks at night, to spend hours on the piano or listening to the stereo.
and while i was trying to figure the whole thing out, that boy of mine told me it was all about balance.
that was his answer. so simple, so easy to what i thought was so complicated and so confusing.
like how i am(according to him), good and bad at the same time, crazy and boring at the same time.it's just about striking a balance
it's not about embracing one and despising the other, it's about having the best of both worlds.
and after that we start doing boring things and still get the kick from just being around each other. watching the planes (his dream!), or camping in bookshops (my favourite kill-time activity) or even people watching with mac's strawberry milkshake on hand.
sometimes it will take another person to help you figure all this out, sometimes it will have to be you yourself.
i dont want you to lose yourself, or to be someone else not yourself. somewhere in between, there's got to be a balance.
think about it.
take random chapters of coelho and reread it again.
and know that i have faith in you.
love,
cong
Jan 26, 2011
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 18, 2011
"can you close your eyes?"
"why?"
"so that i can steal a kiss."
starry night, east coast park, you.
sometimes i zoned out and daydream and think of you. and how you so easily stole my heart.
please come back in one piece. i miss you.
ps. B, i dont have the luxury of time now, but i do have a whole post for you i promise to write soon.
"why?"
"so that i can steal a kiss."
starry night, east coast park, you.
sometimes i zoned out and daydream and think of you. and how you so easily stole my heart.
please come back in one piece. i miss you.
ps. B, i dont have the luxury of time now, but i do have a whole post for you i promise to write soon.
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 12, 2011
the reason why love is so painful is because we feel ourself unworthy for love. Coelho wrote that and it is so true.
I wish i can make people think twice and reconsider. Loving me ain't exactly the wisest choice, neither is it a smart decision. you'll be playing with fire, and you're bound to get hurt somehow.
I'm always struggling to choose between the one i love and the one that loves me. Whose side are you on?
I wish i can make people think twice and reconsider. Loving me ain't exactly the wisest choice, neither is it a smart decision. you'll be playing with fire, and you're bound to get hurt somehow.
I'm always struggling to choose between the one i love and the one that loves me. Whose side are you on?
Jan 10, 2011
Jan 9, 2011
Jan 6, 2011
nobody said it was easy
oh it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be so hard
oh take me back to the start
just got off the phone and probably made my first crazy decision of the year.
whether it is out of guilt, out of insanity or out of love, i dont know.
but it doesn't matter, it never mattered.
oh it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be so hard
oh take me back to the start
just got off the phone and probably made my first crazy decision of the year.
whether it is out of guilt, out of insanity or out of love, i dont know.
but it doesn't matter, it never mattered.
Jan 5, 2011
Jan 4, 2011
the alternative of hating someone is always loving them
and it is so much easier choosing the latter.
i hope you get the job, not just because of the higher pay, but because i think you'll be happier there.
maybe we're not good at being lovers, but that doesnt mean we cant be good at being friends.
occupying ourselves, being busy, is always a choice.
and its clear we've got different priorities now.
it may not have made much sense then, but now everything is falling into place.
and for once, i'm really really happy.
for you.for me.for us.
and it is so much easier choosing the latter.
i hope you get the job, not just because of the higher pay, but because i think you'll be happier there.
maybe we're not good at being lovers, but that doesnt mean we cant be good at being friends.
occupying ourselves, being busy, is always a choice.
and its clear we've got different priorities now.
it may not have made much sense then, but now everything is falling into place.
and for once, i'm really really happy.
for you.for me.for us.
Jan 1, 2011
2010 is by far my most adventurous year
stepped out of my comfort zone, made new friends, met new people, explored new places, learnt new things and so much more.
for a while i thought i was falling in love, and even though it didnt materialise into forever or anything that sort, i never regretted him.or the whole experience.
2010 wasnt the best year or most emotional rollercoaster year, but it was a good year.
i survived and i'm pretty sure 2011 is gonna be a good year.
for 2011, i just want to be happy.
shall enjoy my last 9days before schools starts!
stepped out of my comfort zone, made new friends, met new people, explored new places, learnt new things and so much more.
for a while i thought i was falling in love, and even though it didnt materialise into forever or anything that sort, i never regretted him.or the whole experience.
2010 wasnt the best year or most emotional rollercoaster year, but it was a good year.
i survived and i'm pretty sure 2011 is gonna be a good year.
for 2011, i just want to be happy.
shall enjoy my last 9days before schools starts!
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